Adoption Book Review

Over the last year or so, I have done a lot of research on adoption. Seldom do Nathan and I do anything without diving head first into research. In fact, at first, Nathan worried that I was going to get what he called "adoption research burnout." Well, I didn't. I have come across some great books that I would like to share with you. Since Nathan and I are readers, the books I review will sometimes be on subjects other than adoption. Reading, we think, will be a great way to pass the time while we are waiting for our baby to arrive.

The book, Successful Adoption: A Guide for Christian Families, is a must read for Christians who are interested in adoption.

In her book, Natalie Gillespie (an adoptive parent herself), goes through in detail the steps and thought processes involved in adopting a child either domestically or internationally from both a practical and spiritual standpoint.

The book was like a great skirt, long enough to cover the subject but short enough to keep it interesting. Successful Adoptions is full of great resource information including checklists, phone numbers, timelines and sample documents.

Additionally, this book gives heartwarming stories of Christians (most of whom you will recognize) who are either adoptive parents or adoptees. These real life stories are very inspiring. This book is well written in both its content and sentiment.

On a final note, congratulations to Eric and Nicole Echols who have accepted a referral of a 4 year old little girl from Taiwan. We are praying that you can bring Emma home soon!

Q&A Follow Up

Thanks to everyone who responded to my Q&A Blog. I appreciate all of the encouragement that I received from your replies. Nathan and I are convinced that it is God's will for us to start a family through adoption.

Their are two questions that came from the comments. The first is easy, "How did you decide on South Korea?" The second question is a little more complicated, "Is it right for Christians to adopt children, particularly taking them away from their country of origin?" While the second question wasn't asked directly, it was implied. In my estimation, it is really asking "Can it truly be God's will for you and Nathan to adopt?" I will attempt to answer both questions in this post.

First, let me say this. I am thankful for the comments on this blog. It lets me know that people are actually interested in what Nathan and I are doing. I may not always agree with a particular post, but I feel strongly that everyone has a right to their opinion and they are free to express it here on my blog. All are welcome!

Question #1 - How did you decide on South Korea? (see post from Heather for specific question)

This is a great question and I would say that it was both a drawing to South Korea specifically and circumstances that led us to decide on South Korea.

Let me explain...

Nathan has always felt some sort of draw to adopt from South Korea. My initial feelings were to adopt from a Latin American country. I think that my feelings were primarily related to my mission trips to Honduras.

One of the first things that comes up when you speak with an agency either by phone or at a pre-adoption meeting is "What country are you interested in?" At that point for us, we were thinking that we didn't really care, we just want a baby! As you begin to weed through all the different countries and their qualifications, you quickly find one that is a fit for you. For example, Kazakhstan seemed appealing to us, we met all of the qualifications, then we found out that there is a required 45 day in country visit. This is almost impossible for us to do and still keep our jobs!

For us, South Korea was a great fit. I actually deferred to Nathan on this point, he felt strongly about South Korea and I didn't feel as strong as he did about any other country that interested me. Now I am glad that I deferred to his judgment because Guatemala, a county that I was interested in, is having a lot of problems and we would have been in the big middle of it!

Let me also say that we also feel a strong call to adopt from China (another post for another day). I will elaborate on that in the future. Our plan (for now, subject to change) is to adopt our second child from China.

If we had a ton of money, our home would be filled with lots of children with lots of different ethnic backgrounds. Recently I read a quote that seemed to describe me very well "My capacity to love a child is not based on whether or not they carry my genes."

Question #2 "Is is right for Christians to adopt children, particularly taking them away from their country of origin?"

For this answer I will be taking my answers primarily from information I have read from the Carolina Hope Adoption Blog. This a great website for dealing with the theological issues related to adoption. I wish I could better articulate theological issues...I will give a shot at explaining it as I understand it, but if you are interested, again, I suggest you read the Carolina Hope Adoption Blog (CHAB).

All throughout the Bible we see people who are adopted or raised by someone other than their biological parent. Some well known examples are Moses, Samuel and Jesus (who had a step father). Moses and Samuel both would have been raised in a culture or country that wasn't their culture or country of their origin.

In addition, the New Testament is filled with language about how God adopts us into His family and gives us all the rights and privileges that His Son Jesus has. It is amazing to think that we actually become joint heirs with Jesus. God cherishes us and choses to love us, His children.

As far as transracial adoption goes, I love what Dr. Dave Garner from Westminister Theological Seminary wrote in a recent interview with CHAB "...because all of us are descendants of Adam, we are actually all one race. Language, cultural, or ethnic distinctions do not trump the central truth of our common heritage. The sons of Adam are alone those who become the sons of God in Christ."

The cost of any adoption - domestic or international - is high both financially and personally. One way that we "balance out" this cost is when we think of the great cost that God went to for us to be adopted into His family - the life of His Son.

I know this was long, but I have had it on my heart for sometime and I wanted to share. Thanks again to all of you who care enough about us and our family to follow our journey.

Have a great week.

FAQ

I thought I would use this time to answer a few frequently asked questions that Nathan and I get about our adoption process, but first, I have some exciting news! Last Friday we received in the mail approval to get the home study process started. This was at the end of a day that I had "whined" to my Mother about not hearing any news for a whole week about "my baby." She asked if I had checked my mail (how do Mom's know this stuff?)...I hadn't, but when I got home there it was not one, but two pieces of mail from Dillon International!

Question 1 - Do you want a boy or a girl?

We actually don't have a preference as to the gender of our baby. Which is a good thing because Dillon requests that we don't have a preference since we are first time parents. 70% of the babies adopted internationally from South Korea are boys.

Question 2 - Do you have to travel to South Korea to pick up your baby?

We have the option to travel to South Korea to pick up our baby or to have the baby escorted to us (probably to Tulsa). The flight to South Korea is about 30 hours and the stay in South Korea is only a few days. At this time we are leaning toward having the baby escorted so that only one person has jet lag, not three.

Question 3 - Does South Korea have a one child policy like China?

No, there is no one child policy.

Question 4 - Why are the babies available for adoption?

The reasons are probably very similar to the reasons a baby would be available in the United States for adoption.

Question 5 - Why are there more boy babies available for adoption from South Korea?

To the best of our understanding, South Korea has domestic adoption. Just like in the United States, the girl babies are preferred for adoption, for whatever reason. Nathan and I feel that all babies, regardless of gender, are a gift and a reward from God.

Question 6 - When do you expect to have your baby home?

The Dillon website says that we can expect to wait about a year. We are hopeful that we will have the baby home by this time next year.

Question 8 - How old will your baby be?

In South Korea, the babies are not allowed to leave the country for adoption until they are 5 months old. We expect our baby to be about 8-12 months upon homecoming.

Question 9 - Do you have names picked out?

Yes, but nothing set in stone.

Do you have a question that I have not answered? If so, feel free to post it and I will do my best to answer. Like many of you, we are learning about adoption and we may not have all the answers.

Thank you for your interest, it means a lot to us to see everyone keeping up with us through this blog.

National Adoption Month, 2007

Psalm 68:5-6
5 Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
6 God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

November is National Adoption Month. My prayer is that God will lay it on the heart of Christian families to adopt. Statistics show that many people have thought about it, but have not followed through.

Nathan and I read a book called "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy when we were dating. I just read today that they are in the process of adopting a little girl from Korea. Click here to read their story.

Have a wonderful week.